Sunset
by BarnumOnTheBrain
Summary: The love story of Bella and Edward is now a famous one. But what happened on the other side? What happened to his family during this stressed out time? Twilight from Esme's POV, her and Carlisle's romance is a main part of the story.
1. Her Blood

It was a quiet afternoon. The clouds that drifted over Forks were the usual dull grey, the drizzle falling from them making the airy clammy.

"It has been so long now," Carmen sighed from the end of the phone

"I know, we must visit soon." It was true, it had been a long time since we had seen our friends from Denali, and I missed the four women I called my sisters. It was then that I heard the familiar sound of tyres at the top of the drive.

"Please do, life here is rather dull at the moment!" Carmen exclaimed.

"I'll speak with you tomorrow, see if we can arrange anything. For now I must go, the others are coming home from school now! Give my best to Tanya, Irina, Kate and Eleazar."

"Goodbye Esme!" she said cheerfully. "Hope to see you soon."

"Goodbye Carmen." I smiled as I hung up. Carmen was a real sweetheart, and it was true, it had been so long since we had seen them.

Drifting down the stairs to meet my family, I was surprised when I heard the engine of the car cut off, followed by slamming doors. Then the car was back into drive, and gone within a second.

It took longer than usual for the others to reach the house. I was curious as to why one of them had taken the car without coming home first. It worried me. It didn't take long for the shapes of my children to emerge from the trees, and I could tell in an instant who was missing. Which worried me even more. Rose and Emmett were walking arm in arm, talking softly to one another. Alice and Jasper walked apart. Jasper wore a grave expression, but it was not him that worried me. It was little Alice. Her face was blank as she searched the future, before turning to that of upmost misery. Something was very wrong.

"Alice, what has happened?" I asked,hurrying down the steps to greet her. Her sad eyes met mine, and she was in my arms in a second. "It's Edward, isn't it?" I breathed. She merely nodded into my shoulder. Emmett patted her back affectionately as he passed.

"Alice, do you want me to explain?" Rosalie murmured gently once we were inside.

"No, it would be better if I did," she replied, smiling wearily at her sister. "But thanks Rose."

"There is a new girl at school," Alice began slowly, getting up and walking to the window. She stared out of it over the river, trying to word her thoughts. "Edward was... tempted. Tempted beyond anything he has ever been before."

"What do you mean? I don't understand." I was beginning to feel something gnaw the bottom of my stomach.

"Her... blood." Alice grimaced, and looked up for a moment.

"Her blood?" I repeated. My fears were confirmed, and my heart dropped. My son. My darling Edward. This would break him. "What happened?" I hoped that her words would not be what I feared they were.

"Do not worry. He didn't give in... as such." Her brow was furrowed.

"But...?"

But he almost did. The visions, what I saw... it was horrible. But he made it through the hour class he had with her, and then bailed."

I felt calm, more assured, as she told me more. But there was still something wrong. "And now what?"

Alice looked glum. "He has gone to see Carlisle. From what I can tell, it was only the thought of Carlisle that kept him from devouring the Swan girl."

"Charlie Swan's daughter?" Of course it was. There was no one else new in the small town of Forks. Alice nodded slowly, still staring out of the window. "What is he planning to do now?"

"To leave." Alice was silent after that. I followed her gaze out over the garden and down the river. It was a grey, murky day, but there was no use denying that is was beautiful. The wet, green grass swayed gently in the breeze, the leaves rustling quietly in the trees. I could hear the faint trickling water of the stream, and birds twittering in the trees. Jasper came quietly to stand with us, wrapping an arm around Alice's waist. She leaned up to kiss his lips briefly, before turning back to face outside. The three of us stayed like that for half an hour or more, the quiet murmuring of Rosalie and Emmett coming from the garage.

"Carlisle is coming home, Esme."

I looked at Alice. She was watching me. I gave her a questioning look, not daring to ask the question.

"Without Edward," she replied in a quiet voice. I sighed, sadness washing over me, and made my way slowly to the study.

The huge door creaked open when I pushed it, revealing the tall, wide room that was used by my husband. I walked slowly around the edges of the room, running my fingers over the books that lined the walls and let my hand rest on a leather-bound book. Edward wrote that book. I could hardly bear to look at it, knowing that I may not see him for a year or more. Until we left Forks, no doubt. The office had a comforting smell to it. Edward's scent was still fairly fresh in the room, as he often spent time with Carlisle in here. Most evening they were together up here, talking for hours on end, although nights were a different matter all together...

I shook my head, reminding myself to stay focused, but couldn't help smiling. Nearly ninety years, and still the magic was as strong as it was the first time. But I was brought back crashing down to earth as I saw a note in Edward's hand. My poor, darling son. We had all been there, been tempted beyond anything before. I had not been strong enough to come away though. The final scream of my victim still tortured me. At the time I thought that his blood would make it worth it, worth the regret, worth the kill. It really wasn't. But the strength that Edward had shown, was still showing, to be able to walk away, to resist, made me proud.

The familiar sound of tyres at the top of the drive pulled me out of my thoughts, and I became nervous. Nervous for the news that Carlisle no doubt bore. I walked slowly over to the leather chair that sat behind the desk, and waited...


	2. Unrecognisable

That evening, Carlisle and I had the house to ourselves. Emmett was driving Rose down the coast, and Alice and Jasper had left together shortly after, not saying when they would be back.

The fire was lit in the grate, the crescent moon reflecting off the glass coffee table and the scent of burning candles filled the room. Carlisle had his nose in another book, leaning on the wall off glass. I stared into the fire and sighed.

He looked up at me, and placed his book down."Darling, do not linger on it," he whispered into my ear, rapping his arms around me. His breath tickled me, and I shivered. He chuckled softly, kissing the base of my neck. "It is not your fault. Edward made his decision, and I am immensely proud of him."

"I do worry though, how can I not?"

"As do I. But he has gone to Denali, there Tanya will make sure he is ok, and you know Carmen will treat him as kindly as you or I would. As for Kate, well, she will make sure he doesn't mope about the house, she'll keep him as busy as anything, and slap him right out of it. You know she wont stand him being miserable. No one is allowed to be miserable around her!"

I chuckled. "I suppose you're right," I sighed. I turned round in his arms to face him. Those golden eyes still made me feel weak at the knees. He smiled slightly and lent down, resting his forehead on mine. I felt butterflies in my stomach as he pulled me closer to him.

"At over 350 years old, my dear, aren't you a little old for this?" I whispered with a smile.

"Darling Esme, you make me feel as young as I look. With you, my years count for nothing." He chuckled once, and tilted my chin up, bringing my lips to his. Even though it was the briefest of kisses, I felt all my worries drain away. Sure, Edward had left, but he was ok. He had spoken with Carlisle, and was now on his way to stay with our extended family. And Carlisle was here, with me. And nothing could change that.

"Esme?" he whispered, bringing his lips just below my ear.

"Mmm?" I replied, my eyes closed as I ran my fingers through his thick hair, pressing myself to him.

"I love you."

"I love you too Carlisle. I love you so very, very much."

He placed his hands either side of my neck and brought his face down to mine once again. His lips met mine, and lingered there longer, moving with mine perfectly. Tracing my lower lip with his tongue, he opened his mouth slightly, letting out a sweet, warm breath, and I felt myself becoming lost with him...

The morning sun streamed through a rare gap in the clouds, sending sparkling diamonds across our skin, and I sighed.

"Esme? Are you ok?" Carlisle asked in a low voice, stroking my cheek.

"Yes. Just sad we must return to reality, once again." I much preferred staying in our room, alone with Carlisle. There just didn't seem enough hours in the day.

"I do have the day off, you know," he winked at me, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Good, then you can help me. It's that time again. We need to go down the the Newton's store and buy more camping gear, seeing as we haven't been there for a few months, and the grocery store is simply screaming my name. And then we can call Denali, and see how Edward is..." My voice trailed off. Edward. I wanted to cry for him, but, much like the other 80 years of my life like this, my body failed me. So instead I buried my head into Carlisle's shoulder and prayed that Edward would be back soon. Not even 24 hours and I was missing him dreadfully.

"We're going to school now," Alice said from the bottom of the stairs moments later. She sounded miserable.

"Try to have a good day," Carlisle called back, rubbing my back rhythmically.

"Time to get up I guess, we have to face the world sooner or later," I sighed, sitting up in the great white bed. I looked around. To the left of me, the door to the en suit stood ajar, the white tiles and mirrors sparkling, and the door to the enormous closet stood beside it. In front of me, the wall-length window revealed a miserable day, the break in the clouds from earlier long gone, leaving behind a familiar grey. The mountains behind the forest that we were in stood tall and proud in the distance. And to my right, lay my perfect husband. Half of him was covered in the bright white bed clothes, the other half almost as pale as the sheets themselves. I couldn't help but marvel at his perfect torso. His toned stomach, muscular arms, strong shoulders, they astounded me every time at their perfectness. He looked like he had been carved by angels. He leaned forwards to kiss me once again, and I willingly left myself fall back on to the bed with him.

Later that day I phone Denali. They said Edward was unrecognisable in his behaviour. They said he was the closest thing to depressed they had ever known him.


	3. Stars

The week dragged on. I phoned Denali every day but not once did Edward choose to speak to me. I didn't blame him though. I didn't blame him for any of it. Alice continued to strain herself over the future, she would sit for hours trying her hardest to see far enough into the future to decipher what Edward was going to do. The rest of us were quiet; there was not much conversation.

Alice gasped suddenly. It was Friday night, about eleven at night, and things were still. Rose and Emmett were curled up on the sofa watching a fairly gory film, while Jasper was out hunting again. Carlisle was up in his study, and Alice and I were re-arranging flowers at the foot of the stairs. We all stopped, and stared at Alice.

"What is it Alice?" Emmett said eagerly from the sofa.

Carlisle was downstairs in a few seconds. "Alice, what did you see?"

Slowly, the corners of her mouth turned upwards, until she was practically beaming. "He's coming home!"

"Yeah baby!" Emmett cheered, jumping up from the sofa and punching the air. "I've been wanting to kick someone's ass for days now!"

"What about Jasper?" Rosalie asked, grinning.

"He makes me feel all warm and gooey inside whenever I try to pounce."

Alice, Carlisle and I laughed as Emmett continued to look miffed and Rose poked at him playfully.

"Oh thank goodness he is coming home!" I sighed, feeling totally and utterly blissful suddenly.

"We always knew he would," Carlisle smiled at me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "He will always face his demons."

"Oh. Yes. I forgot." The whole reason for his leaving had totally been forgotten by me momentarily as I rejoiced at his return. The happiness remained, although, suddenly, it had a bitter edge.

"Jasper!" Alice cried, running to the back door happily. "Jasper, sweetie, we have news!" She dragged him into the living room. He looked confused as he glanced around all the happy faces.

"No need to look so grim, bro," Emmett guffawed from the far side of the room. "Who died then?"

"Why is everyone so happy?" he asked slowly as he met each of our gazes. "What have I missed?"

"Only that Edward is returning!" Alice sang, dancing lithely around the room.

"Oh." His reply was short, his expression unchanging. "Good." And he darted up the stairs suddenly, shutting the door of his and Alice's room.

"Well, he seems chuffed to bits," Emmett muttered, looking away awkwardly.

"What was that?" Alice asked in a high voice, her brow furrowed and expression mingled with frustration and anxiety. She flitted to my side.

"I don't know," I fretted. It was unlike Jasper to react like that, he missed Edward as much as I did, but his mood recently, even before Edward had left, had been on the downturn. I turned to my husband helplessly in the hope of an answer. His eyes were closed, and he was pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Carlisle?" Alice demanded.

"I think, Alice, you should talk to him yourself. And before Edward returns. Do you know when he will return?"

She closed her eyes momentarily. "Four in the morning," she announced as her eyes flicked open and darted up the stairs after Jasper. We heard the bedroom door creak open, and then softly close again.

"You know?" I turned to Carlisle, an eyebrow raised.

"His, for want of a better word, problem? Yes, I know. Is that such a crime?" he asked with a sigh.

"No, of course not. Do you wish to share?"

"I am not sure Jasper would like it if I did." He glanced over to the sofa, where Rose and Em were no doubt listening. "Come for a walk?"

"So he is worried?" I repeated. Carlisle had led me into the forest, and within ten minutes we were in the familiar clearing where many evenings had been spent, as a family, and as a couple. We were sat in the middle of the clearing with the moonlight shining around us. The grass shimmered in the light breeze, and the stars twinkled in the black night. It was the first clear night for a long while.

"Yes. He is worried about Edward's return," Carlisle sighed, looking up at the stars.

"Worried? How so?"

"He has confided in me recently, that our way of life is more challenging to him that he let on. He finds it an almighty struggle, and he is ashamed of it."

"But surely Edward is the one person who can help him? He always turned to Edward, for anything!"

"Maybe that would be true, if it wasn't for Edward's gift."

"Mind reading?"

"Exactly. Jasper is ashamed of his thoughts when he is around humans, he despises them, but since Edward has gone he has been able to keep them secret. When Edward returns, he will hear the thoughts, whether he wants to or not. And Jasper will feel... Well, I don't know how he will feel, but I am pretty sure he will feel rotten. And can you blame him?"

"Oh." Poor Jasper. He wasn't a bad person. And he tried so hard, no one could blame him for how he felt. I looked at Carlisle's face. He looked sheet white, his face had no expression, but I could see a muscle twitch just above his temple. I knew he was in deep thought, and waited silently for him to speak.

"Maybe we should send him up to Denali for a while," he murmured after a while, looking at a point just over my left shoulder. He wasn't really talking to me, just thinking out loud.

"You know Alice will go with him," I replied just as quietly.

"Yes, but if it what he needs," Carlisle said gently, taking one of my hands. "I know you don't want our family to be apart for so long, but if it is what is best for him, wont it be worth it?"

I sighed. He was right. He was always right. "Yes, I suppose that is true."

Carlisle smiled at me, the kind of smile that out shone as thousand midnight stars, the kind that screamed 'I love you', the kind that reminded me of the first time I saw him, the first time I fell in love with him. He pulled me into his arms and we laid back on the grass together, staring up at the sky.

"You know, that star over there," he stretched out an arm, pointing to a bright, twinkling star directly above us, "is called Esme."

"Oh yes?" I replied, not believing him.

"It's true! I bought it for you."

"Why?"

"Because you deserve it." He said it as if it were a fact.

"Oh Carlisle, you shouldn't have!" I exclaimed, turning over to face him, beaming.

"Well, I did. I hope you like it," he smiled.

"Well, I suppose you could have got me something bigger, something with more sparkle," I teased. "But this will do."

"I am very glad about that, Mrs Cullen." And he lent in to kiss me tenderly.

"Thank you, my love," I whispered, pulling away slightly. "It is the most beautiful star. Just like you are my most beautiful sun."

"Now all you need is your own moon," he teased sweetly. "But I think the Moon is a little out of our price range, sorry."

"I wont linger on it," I sighed happily, leaning back in his arm. I truly didn't deserve this wonderful man.

"Sweetness, it's three thirty," Carlisle murmured hours later, checking his watch. I stayed still for a fraction of a second, and then realized what that meant.

"Come on then!" I squealed excitedly, jumping up and grabbing his hand. Edward was coming, and he was less than half an hour away!

"I'm coming!" he laughed as I ran towards the house, Carlisle in tow, thrilled at the prospect of seeing my son once again. 


	4. Snowballs

"Five minutes," Alice sang excitedly. It had begun snowing as Carlisle and I had reached the house, and none of us could resist standing out in it. It turned the dark and foreboding forest into one that could be home to any mythical creature, although not necessarily vampires. Jasper and Emmett were already eying the girls as the snow came thicker and faster, despite the fact that trying to take Alice by surprise was useless, and throwing anything wet and hard at Rosalie was going to be painful for all of us. I sighed. But boys will be boys. Right on cue, Jasper and Emmett threw a snowball each at their wives. Alice laughed, merely deflecting the snowball aimed at her shoulder with the flick of a finger. Rose, however, was not so lucky. The snow hit the back of her head and exploded into small lumps, sticking to her hair.

"Emmett," she growled, her eyes flashing to her husband while Jasper was doubled over with laughter, having to hang on to Alice for support.

"Yes, precious?" Emmett asked innocently, looking up from where he was studying his nails with apparent interest.

"My hair, you idiot!" she cried, shaking her wet hair at him. "Look at it!"

"Me?" he replied in mock offence. "You thought that was me?"

"Don't push me, Emmett!"

"It was Jasper," he said childishly, pointing a finger at his brother who was still laughing uncontrollably.

"Was it hell!" She began stalking towards him, like a tiger to her prey.

"Bring it, babes," he grinned, inviting her with the curl of a finger.

"Emmett wins," Alice grinned.

Rosalie groaned, stopping in her tracks. "Stuff you Alice."

Emmett singgered. Carlisle chuckled quietly and I smiled. They really were quite amusing.

"Do you find this funny?" Rosalie accused us with wide eyes.

"No, not at all honey," I said seriously, trying to keep my face from twitching and reaching out to put an arm around her.

"You do!" she wailed reaching up to her hair and rushing inside before Emmett and Jasper got another chance to throw their newly made snowballs at her.

"She'll be out before Edward gets home," Alice giggled. Rosalie was such a drama queen, she was either annoying the heck out of you, or amusing you until you laughed your sides sore. But we wouldn't have her any other way.

The family banter continued for the nest few minutes, although you didn't need to be Jasper to tell that everyone was feeling more tense. Rosalie emerged again from the house with a towel turban, her eyes flaming as if she were daring Emmett or Jasper to throw more snow at her. But something told me they had other ideas for the balls of compressed snow in their hands and pockets.

"He's at the drive entrance," Alice said excitedly right as the sound of tyres hit the mud track. I flitted back to Carlisle's side as the sound grew louder and the purr of the engine was now definable as the Mercedes, and he wove his fingers through my own. That was a comfort to me. I was beginning to feel much more anxious, although I appeared to be the only one that way.

Alice was stood in the arms of Jasper, her eyes sparkling as they did when she was excited, while Jasper's were more eager. I was surprised that he was so enthusiastic, but I had a feeling that once all the welcoming were over, and they were back in the school, that would change once again. Rosalie was standing stiffly away from Emmett, still throwing him darks looks, but otherwise looked totally at ease, Emmett, like his brother, looking eager. He darted to Rosalie's side quietly, and pulled his arms tightly around her in an embrace. Her had expression softened slightly, and she lent into him. I sighed happily, so glad that we had each found our true other half. I turned to look at mine. His face was calm, cool and collected, there was nothing in his eyes to he was otherwise, but somehow I could tell he was as nervous as me. He was just a better actor - after all, he had had over three hundred years to perfect it.

Suddenly the black car sped around the corner and straight into the open garage, and out stepped Edward. He was in the same clothes as he was when he left, his hair just as messy, although he was better fed. He grinned at us all, looking at each of our faces in turn, but the smile did not reach his eyes.

"Edward!" Emmett roared. "Where've you been, mate?"

"Come here, you softie!" Jasper yelled, and right on cue, the pair of them pounced on him and pulled him to the floor.

"Oh, I have missed my punch bag!" Emmett boomed. "Jasper wouldn't let me punch him, he made me feel like I was in love with him instead, which was kind of disturbing, so I am so glad you're back!"

"Nice to know my place, Em," Edward mumbled from where he was squashed to the floor under his brothers.

"Glad to hear it, mate!"

"Get off your brother," I laughed, my heart swelling as I saw Edward's face.

"Yes, ma'am," Jasper and Emmett said in unison, jumping up at exactly the same time, and taking a step back together. They grinned at each other slyly.

"Don't you dare," Edward murmured as they both raised their hands.

"Too late!" Emmett cackled, and suddenly snow was flying at Edward at a hundred miles per hour. He stood still for a second with an exasperated expression, and promptly walked in a straight line to the house. Emmett and Jasper looked dismayed for a moment as their target refused to react, but seemed to have a new idea. The rest of us followed Edward in as the boys turned on each other, all hell breaking loose in the form of an immense snowball fight. It was very amusing, and I would have stayed to watch, if it wasn't for Edward.

"Carlisle, can I speak with you?" Edward asked before anyone else could speak.

"Of course," he replied calmly, indicating towards his office upstairs. Edward nodded.

Edward, I love you, I thought as loudly as I could. He smiled at my weakly as he passed, and allowed me to touch his cheek for a moment. I sighed. Poor Edward. I hoped Carlisle could help him, in any way.


	5. 94 Years Ago

The day after he arrived home was a quiet one. The snow from the previous day had frozen into a thin sheet of ice on the roads, and I worried vaguely about the flowers in the garden. The others were at school, as were my thoughts. I did worry about Edward still, it was clearly not easy for him to be near the Swan girl. I was not the only one who worried either.

"I fear that his will power will crumble soon," Carlisle said anxiously down the phone from his office at the hospital.

"Have faith," I soothed, even though I held the same doubts that he did.

"I do, it's just... I worry, that's all."

"Just trust him, Edward has always done what is best, he has always known which path to take."

"Isn't this the wrong way round, aren't you meant to be the one who worries while I comfort?" he chuckled.

"Usually," I smiled. It was true, he was the calm, cool and collected one, I was the worrier.

"Doctor Cullen, we need to in the emergency room," came a female voice from the other side of the phone.

"I have to go," he sighed. "I'll call you later."

"Ok. I love you, Carlisle."

"I love you too, Esme. More than anything. More than life itself."

I hung up the phone, smiling. Sure, it would sound cheesy if it were from someone else. But when Carlisle spoke those words, when he murmured them in his silky voice my stomach dropped and my head swam for a moment. But not in an unpleasant way. In the way that is does when you know that the one person you love more than anything else, the one you would die for, feels exactly the same way.

The rest of the day went by quickly, and Carlisle was home soon after midday, not looking as anxious as he had sounded earlier that morning.

"Afternoon, Doctor Cullen," I smiled.

"Hello, Mrs Cullen," he greeted me in a cheery voice. Very different to earlier. He pulled me close to him and kissed me happily, his hands meshing into my hair.

"Well, hello," I giggled after a moment, pulling away from him. His kiss had made me feel very woosey, there was something about it that was different today. A very good different. "What was that for?"

"You," he grinned, kissing me quickly again.I gave him a questioning look. "I missed you, is all."

"Oh really?" I asked, an eyebrow raised. "How much did you miss me?" I reached for the collar on his shirt, slowly undoing his tie and unbuttoning the first few buttons.

"Well, quite a lot, actually," he mused as he ran his hands lightly over my waist, making my shiver.

"How much is quite a lot, then?" I pulled the ends of his shirt out of his trousers and pushed the sleeves off his shoulders, still not meeting his gaze.

"Mrs Cullen, now before we get too far carried away," he smile, "I have something you might like to hear."

"Oh is that so?" I asked suggestively. What was it about him that just did it for me? So much for not getting carried away.

"Yes, but please behave yourself, this is important, or it might be."

"So you encourage me, and then blow me off," I grumbled. Typical male.

"I know, I am a horrible person, you can punish me in a moment," he smiled and took my hands in his own.

"Oh no fear. I will. So what is this you have to tell me? Let me guess, another nurse asked you out?" I giggled. The funnier thing was that the most recent date he had been asked out on was by a male nurse. Emmett practially died when he found out that some of the new hospital staff thought Carlisle was gay. He blamed it on the scarves, while Jasper mused whether it was the pastels he wore. Edward was more inclined to think it was the new pair of Italian shoes he wore every other day, courtesy of Alice.

"No, although a very pretty nurse has been stahring at me lately, I may have to ask her out myself," he teased.

"Now that is a punishable statement," I said with an eyebrow raised.

He chuckled. "But in all seriousness, this will be important. Today I had the pleasure of meeting Bella Swan at the hospital."

"Isn't that the girl..." my question trailed off and my mind flew to Edward.

"Yes, she's the one. She's very brave, that one. I came across her in the emergency room, she had been involved in a van accident. A van had skidded across the school parking lot on all the ice and nearly crushed her, but Edward got in the way and saved her. She merely suffered from slight concussion."

"What about Edward?" I asked worriedly.

"Well, he seems to care for her, he stayed with her the whole time I examined her, and indeed he had to run across the parking lot to reach her in time. And when I say run, I mean run flat out. The Swan girl has noticed something different about Edward alright, she seemed to know that he stopped the van, even though he told her he knocked her out of the way. But I don't think she is the kind of girl to tell anyone anything."

"But how was he around her? Was he, you know...?"

"Was he the predator at all? No, apart from the fact he refused to get too close to her I would never suspect he was especially drawn to her. His restraint is staggering, and I am proud of what he did today, he saved her life."

My heart swelled to hear those words. Edward, my son, instead of ending the life of someone who held his bloodlust, he saved her from death. Not many of us would have the restraint to do that.

"So is that why you are in a good mood?" I asked him as I ran my hands down his body to his waist.

"No, actually, it is something totally different, although Edward's actions today have made me incredibly proud. No, in fact, the reason I am so happy is, you." He rested his hands at the base of my neck and gently rubbed his thumbs up and down. It was very soothing.

"Oh? Anything in specific?" I asked curiously.

"In fact there is. Do you realise it is exactly ninety four years ago today when I first met you?" He smiled at the memory.

"Today? Oh," I smiled back. "You remember it still?"

"As clearly as ever. You broke your leg on your family's farm after falling from a tree there, and didn't like it when I had to feel your leg to find the break, and when I did find it you hardly whimpered, and refused to admit it hurt," he recalled.

"And my mother scolded me for not helping whatsoever," I laughed. "I thought you were incredibly handsome. And after meeting you I found that no one could compare. I never forgot you," I sighed happily. "You made my heart stutter like no one ever had!"

"I know, I heard it," he smiled. "And never forgot it." He leaned down and kissed me gently. "Now, where were we?"


	6. The Dining Room Table

The next part is very similar to the part in Midnight Sun, and the parts where they are the same in NO WAY DO I CLAIM AS MY OWN. Just wanted to make that clear.

All too soon the familiar sounds of Edward's car came from the top of the drive. We hastily made ourselves decent, and descended the stairs to greet our family, smiles plastered in place. But something was wrong, something was very wrong. Rosalie stalked in without even looking at us, her expression furious, while Emmett followed her sheepishly, not looking happy at all. Alice and Jasper followed, Alice looking extremely worried, her face almost torn with it, while Jaspers face was set with determination. Edward followed. Words could not describe how he , mingled with sadness, and twisted with determination. I glanced up at Carlisle worridly.

"He feels he may have to leave again," Carlisle murmured so quietly I could barely hear. My stomach twisted again, and we followed them into the dining room.

It was never used as such, as we always 'ate out', as Emmett liked to put it, and it was mostly used for family discussions - serious ones. The knot in my stomach tightened. Carlisle sat at the head of the table and I took my place standing behind him, taking his hand in my own and resting it on the surface. I needed it as a kind of reassurance - I am sure he felt the same. I looked over at Edward. Stay, I thought for him, but he held no smile for me. He turned away to look at the others. Rosalie sat in the chair opposite Carlisle, glaring at Edward with no shame, her gaze never drifting. Emmett sat beside her, wearing a wry expression, while Jasper stood against the wall behind her in the shadows. Alice looked torn, not knowing where to go as the lines were drawn. It was a comfort when she danced over to me and took the neighbouring seat. I saw Jasper look at her uneasily, and for a split second I thought he would join her, but he stood his ground, unmoving and defiant.

"I'm sorry," Edward began, breaking the stony silence. He looked at Rose, Emmett and Jasper in turn. "I didn't mean to put any of you at risk. It was thoughtless, and I take full responsibility for my hasty action."

I felt Carlisle's hand tighten around mine for a moment, and my own stomach dropped at his words. I could only assume what that meant.

"What do you mean, 'take full responsibility'? Are you going to fix it?" Rosalie demanded as she glared across at him, her face still beautiful even though it was painfully furious.

"Not in the way you mean." It seemed that he was working very hard to keep his voice quiet, but his words were some comfort to me. He was not going to destroy the girl. "I'm willing to leave now, if that makes things better."

"No," I murmured, finding myself surprisingly calm. I would not have him leave again. "No, Edward."

He patted my hand soothingly. "It's just a few years."

"Esme's right though, you can't go anywhere now," Emmett said thoughtfully. "That would be the opposite of helpful. We need to know what people are thinking, now more than ever."

Edward frowned. "Alice would catch anything major."

"I think Emmett is right, Edward," Carlisle disagreed, shaking his head. "The girl will be more likely to talk if you disappear. It's all of us leave, or none of us."

I sighed mentally in relief. No one would go against what Carlisle said.

"She wont say anything," Edward quickly urged, throwing a wary glance at Rosalie.

"You don't know her mind," Carlisle reminded him.

"I know this much," he insisted. "Alice, back me up."

Alice looked up at Edward with a weary expression from where she was rubbing her forehead. "I can't see what will happen if we just ignore this." She glanced at Rosalie and Jasper.

"We can't allow the human a chance to say anything!" Rosalie exploded, smacking her hand down hard on the table. "Carlisle, you must see that. Even if we decided to all disappear, it's not safe to leave stories behind us. We live so differently from the rest of our kind - you know there are those who love an excuse to point fingers. We have to be more careful than anyone else!"

"We've left rumours behind us before," Edward reminded her calmly.

"Just rumours and suspicions, Edward. Not eyewitnesses and evidence!"

"Evidence," Edward scoffed, but behind Rose, Jasper was nodding in the shadows, his eyes dark and hard.

"Rose-" Carlisle started.

"Let me finish, Carlisle. It doesn't have to be any big production. The girl hit her head today. So maybe that injury turns out to be more serious than it looked." She shrugged, not really caring about how to do it, caring more about convincing us no doubt. "Ever mortal goes to sleep with the chance of never waking up. The others would expect us to clean up after ourselves. Technically, that is Edward's job, but this is obviously beyond him. You know I'm capable of control. I would leave no evidence behind me."

"Yes, Rosalie, we all know how proficient an assassin you are," Edward snarled angrily.

She hissed at him furiously. I shuddered involuntarily at his words, remembering the night she had come back, her eyes glinting with victory at her murders...

"Edward, please," Carlisle said, raising his free hand to hush him. He then turned to Rosalie. "Rosalie, I looked the other way in Rochester because I felt you were owed your justice. The men you killed had wronged you monstrously. This is not the same situation. The Swan girl is an innocent.

"It's not personal, Carlisle," she replied through gritted teeth. I could tell she was close to loosing it. "It's to protect us all."

The silence that followed was painful as Carlisle thought through his answer. Edward watched him carefully as he followed his train of thought, and I felt his fingers twitch in mine when he finally nodded. Rosalie's face lit up for a moment, but she really should have realized who she was dealing with. Carlisle would never agree to such a thing.

"I know you mean well Rosalie," he began slowly and deliberately, thinking through each word before he said it. "But... I'd like very much for our family to be worth protecting. The occasional... accident or lapse in control is a regrettable part of who we are. To murder a blameless child in cold blood is another thing entirely. I believe the risk she presents, whether she speaks her suspicions or not, is nothing to the greater risk. If we make exceptions to protect ourselves, we risk something much more important. We risk loosing the essence of who we are."

Edward's face showed signs of triumph as he looked at Carlisle with upmost respect.

"It's just being responsible," Rosalie scowled like a child.

"It's being callous," Carlisle replied gently, knowing the battle was won.

"It'll be ok," Emmett soothed Rosalie as she sighed and stuck her lower lip out in a pout.

"The question is," Carlisle continued with a sigh, "whether we should move on?"

"No," Rosalie moaned, rolling her eyes. "We just got settled! I don't want to start on my sophomore year in high school again!"

"You could keep your present age, of course," Carlisle suggested.

"And have to move that much sooner?" she asked with raised eyebrows and folded arms.

He shrugged, and I smiled. The atmosphere was lighter now a decision had been made, and now the only worries that seemed to be present were Rosalie's petty concerns.

"I like it here" she emphasised. "There's so little sun, we get to be almost normal!"

I smiled at the unlikeliness of that.

"Well, we certainly don't have to decide now. We can wait and see if it becomes necessary. Edward seems certain of the Swan girl's silence."

Rosalie snorted, but no one seemed to bothered about her any more. The battle was won, she was overruled, and it was clear that she would go along with it, even though it did bother her. Carlisle looked up at me with a relived smile, and I couldn't help smiling back. Our family was still together, the Swan girl was safe, and life looked good again. I barely noticed Jasper and Edward talking as I let my momentary happiness wash over me. It wasn't until I heard Edward gasp in horror that I paid attention, my happiness evaporating as quickly as it had appeared.

Edward's face was horrified, but Alice did not seem to notice as she spoke to Jasper. Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle and I froze, our eyes fixed on Edward and Alice.

"I know you love me. Thanks," Alice began, talking to Jasper and ignoring Edward. "But I could really appreciate it if you didn't try to kill Bella. First of all, Edward's serious and I don't want you two fighting. Secondly, she's my friend. At least, she's going to be."

We all froze in place. No human could afford friendship with us, no human ever wanted it truely. No human would get the chance, unless bonded with another vampire. And that went against everything we worked for - keeping the secret.

"But... Alice..." Jasper gasped.

"I'm going to love her some day, Jazz. I'll be very put out with you if you don't let her be."

We all were still frozen, appart from Alice. She seemed thrilled as she gazed into the future - the Cullen's future. "Ah," she sighed, the future now clear to her finally as Jasper gave up his course. "See? Bella's not going to say anything. There's nothing to worry about."

She spoke the Swan girl's name as if, already, they were the closest of friends. It did not worry me as it should have done; instead, I felt nervous for the conformation of my suspicions.

"Alice... what... does this?" Edward choked, his expression still that of horror.

"I told you there was a change coming," she mused. "I don't know Edward." Her forehead creased again as she searched the future.

"What, Alice? What are you hiding?" Edward asked desperately.

Emmett grumbled in the background as Alice shook her head. I glanced at Carlisle briefly. He was watching Alice and Edward intently.

"Is it about the girl?" Edward growled angrily. "Is it about Bella?"

Alice's jaw was set, but she seemed to have a lapse of concentration when he spoke her name.

"NO!" he roared, standing up so quickly he knocked his chair flying.

"Edward!" Carlisle rose quickly and placed a steadying hand on his shoulder. Edward didn't even register it.

"It's solidifying," Alice whispered, her eyes sparkling. "Every minute you're more decided. The're really only two ways left for her."

Something in my head finally clicked. Edward was falling in love with Bella Swan. My heart swelled, and joy spread through me as I realised what it meant. He would no longer be the only one left out, he would have someone too. All those solitary nights he spent in his books, at his piano or in the forest, would finally be filled with another. Someone he could spend the rest of eternity with, someone to make forever worth living. This would turn his whole world upside down! But would it be forever? a small voice at the back of mind asked. She is only human, after all. Would she become one of the Cullens? Surely Edward would never allow it. He believes our souls are lost. Would he sacrifice his lover's soul, in his opinion, for himself? I truely had no idea.

"Fall for a human?" I asked in a stunned voice. Despite my joy, I could not comprehend it. "For the girl he saved today? Fall in love with her?"

"What do you see, Alice? Exactly," Jasper demanded in his deep voice.

"It all depends on whether he is strong enough or not. Either he'll kill her himself - which would really irritate me, not to mention what it would do to you - or she'll be one of us someday."

I gasped. So he really would allow it. I refused to let myself believe the other option, so I had to believe that he would turn her immortal.

"That's not going to happen! Either one!" Edward shouted, his face agonized, not wanting to accept it.

"It all depends," Alice repeated slowly and carefully. "He may be strong enough not to kill her - but it will be close. It will take an amazing amount of control. More even than Carlisle has," she added thoughtfully, glancing over at him still standing with an arm on Edward's shoulder. "He may just be strong enough... The only thing he is not strong enough to do is stay away from her. That's a lost cause."

A long paused followed. I looked at each of the faces in the room. All were blank, aside from Edward's. His was still twisted painfully.

"Well, this... complicates things," Carlisle sighed, breaking the silence once again.

"I'll say," Emmett guffawed. I wanted to slap him, and slap him hard, not something that was usually in my nature.

"I suppose the plans remain the same though," Carlisle suggested, ignoring Emmett. "We'll stay, and watch. Obviously, no one will... hurt the girl."

"No," Jasper agreed quietly. "If Alice sees only two ways-"

"No!" Edward cried in a strangled growl. "No!"

Despite seeing him in pain, I was overjoyed at the thought of Edward finally finding someone. He had been alone for too long. He turned suddenly, and walked out of the room stonily. I reached out to touch his arm, but he ignored it. Even before he was out of the front door he was running.


	7. Jasper Speaks Up

"Emmett, don't," I said sharply as he opened his mouth, grinning. "This isn't funny."

"I'll say. It's hilarious! And so typically Edward! He waits all this time, rejected the likes of Tanya, and goodness knows how many other hot women, and then ends up falling for a fragile little human!" he guffawed.

"You think this is funny, do you Emmett?" Rosalie snarled at her husband. "This is anything but funny!"

"Thank you Rose," Carlisle sighed. "At least one out of you two is trying to be sensible, and supportive of Edward."

"Oh the hell I'm supportive Carlisle!" she suddenly shouted, her face angry. "She will end up the death of us, can't you see?"

"Rosalie Hale!" I said angrily. How dare she speak like that!

"Shut up Esme! You always try to make things better, and it makes me sick! Edward has made one mistake too many, and no matter how hard you try to make his life that little bit easier, like you always do, it wont work!" she snarled at me.

I was taken aback. Rosalie had never spoken to me like that before, and it stung. It stung a lot.

"Whoa, Rose, that was way out of line, babe," Emmett muttered to her.

"But it's true!" she replied angrily. "Maybe if she took a step back long enough to look, she would realise that Edward was not all she thinks he is!"

All at once, they were shouting at Rosalie, Carlisle and Jasper in defence of me, Alice and Emmett defending their brother.

"Rosalie, you don't know what you're talking about!" Alice growled, lowering into a crouch.

"Alice, don't!" Jasper said anxiously. Although Alice could take out Rosalie easily, he was wary for her, and who wouldn't be, with Rosalie imitating her stance and hisses passing through her bared teeth.

"Oh, and you do?" she snarled back.

"I've seen what will happen, I know how it will pan out!" Alice hissed.

"Rosalie, Alice, that's enough!" Carlisle shouted, standing between them with his hands out. Rosalie ignored him, and sprang out of her crouch towards Alice. Everything seemed to go in slow motion then. I saw Emmett and Jasper from the corner of my eye start towards them, but there seemed to be no need. Alice stayed motionless as Rosalie moved through the air towards her, a grin on her face as she saw, a split second before the rest of us, what Carlisle was going to do. He sprang upwards, taking Rosalie off guard as she soared through the air in a graceful leap, and crashed into her, quickly wrapping his arms around her to stop her from flying into the wall. She snarled at him, but was helpless in his strong arms. Few seconds had passed, but to me it seemed like years as I watched them struggle in the air and came crashing to the floor. She pulled away from him as soon as her stilettos touched the carpet, a fresh growl ripping though her once again. Carlsile's face was furious. I had never seen him so angry, and for once, he truly looked like the vampire he was.

"Do you see what you are doing, Rosalie?" Jasper said quietly from where he held Alice in his arms protectively. "You are not worried, you're not worried in the slightest about us, or for the girl, either, least of all Edward. No, I can see that you're jealous of the girl. I can only assume why, but your jealousy has caused you, within seconds, to turn on Alice, the woman you have called 'sister' for so long, to turn on Carlisle, with whom words cannot describe, and to hurt Esme, the woman who has adored and loved us beyond what any of us deserve. All because in your little world, everything has to be about you."

"Me? Jealous? Are you out of your mind, Jasper?" Rosalie shrieked from the opposite side of the room.

"No," he smiled slightly. "But the feelings emitting from you are the strongest I have felt from you in such a long while."

"You're dead to me," she said in a voice as cold as her words, and she stalked out. We all stood dumbfounded or a moment, until Emmett moved, scurrying after Rose with an apologetic look.

"Jasper," I breathed, walking over to my son and touching his arm. "Thank you."

"Any time, Esme," he smiled properly. "Ignore what Rosalie said and did. She was not in the right frame of mind, she didn't mean any of it."

"Esme, I know this has upset you, but don't let it. Please?" Alice spoke softly, stepping out of Jasper's hold to hug me. "You're the most wonderful person in all of existence, and don't let that barbie of a vampire make you think otherwise."

I smiled. "Thank you sweetie. You are too kind. I love you both, very much," I sighed, touching each of their cheeks fondly.

"Come on Jasper," Alice murmured, leading him out of the dining room by the hand. "I've got something to show you in your closet."

I heard Jasper moan something about feeling like a mannequin in a shop. And sure enough, a second later I head Alice hit him on the arm playfully.

"Esme?" a smooth voice came from the other side of the room. I turned and saw Carlisle looking worried, all traces of anger gone as if they had never been there. I took a step towards him, and soon enough he had taken me in his arms and began stroking my hair.

"Oh Carlisle," I sighed, pulling away as my eyebrows knitted together.

"Hey hey, what's wrong, honey?" he asked quietly, running his fingers across the worry lines of my forehead and smoothing them out. Slowly, he ran his fingers lightly down my face and across my cheek, tracing them over my lips and slowly back over my cheeks to either side of my neck

"How did it come to this?" I asked him sadly and sank back into his embrace once again.

"Come to what, kitten?"

"This, fighting amongst ourselves, driving each other crazy? That was the closest thing we have ever come to a proper fight, you have never had to do anything like that before, never have I seen Rosalie like that, or Alice, both looking so... malicious. What if this is the beginning?"

I felt Carlisle tense. "The beginning of what?"

"The beginning of the end." My voice cracked.

"Darling Esme, that will never happen, I promise you. It will blow over, I am sure of it." He didn't sound sure though. He pulled me closer and kissed my head in between his gentle murmuring.

"You know what Rose said," I began quietly after a few minutes of comfortable silence. "Before, I mean?"

"Yes," he answered slowly.

"Do I drive you insane at all?" I asked worriedly.

"Not in the way you mean, no," he replied with a slight chuckle. I smiled slightly, but was not convinced.

"And do I always try to make things better?" I pressed.

"Not always, no."

"But..."

"No but. You offer help when you know you will not be rejected, and you would do anything to keep the Cullens together," he said simply.

"Oh." That wasn't as bad as I thought.

"Esme, you heard what Jasper said, you are an amazing woman. If only you could see it for yourself," he said sadly. I sighed. I wasn't very fond of compliments, but tried my best of accept them with good grace usually. Now, I felt weary, and didn't feel like pretending anything for anyone, not even my husband.

"Feeling tired?" he asked.

"Yes, but it is very strange. I haven't ever felt weary like this before. It's like I want to sleep, but I don't. It's very confusing."

"I know what you mean," he sighed. "I have felt like that before. You want to know what the best cure is?"

"Sure thing, Dr Cullen," I smiled into his shoulder.

"Lying in bed with your most loving wife, or, in your case, husband."

"Hmm, is that so? Doing what, exactly?"

"Just being. I find you are the greatest cure. Maybe it will work in reverse," he wondered hopefully.

"Ok, I'll be up in a moment," I sighed again and pulled away from him. It seemed like that would be my thing of the day. Sighing. He kissed my forehead gently, and then watched me anxiously as I made my way out of the room.

It wasn't hard to find Rosalie. All you had to do was follow the sounds of a high pitched moan to the garage. I hovered outside of the door for a moment, and watched them. Rosalie was grumbling about something the car wasn't doing right, and throwing dark looks at Emmett, who was trying his best to please his wife.

I stepped out into the garage bravely, smoothing my skirt self-concisely.

"Esme," Emmett nodded to me warily and then tuned back to the car.

"Rosalie-"I began, but she turned away from me. It broke my heart, and I felt something begin inside me. My shoulders heaved up and down quickly, and I felt slightly numb, my eyes refusing to focus on anything.

Within moments Carlisle was behind me, leading me away from the garage and up to our room, where I let my sorrows of the day out in my tearless sobs, hugging myself to Carlisle in the blankets of the bed. We lay there all night in the silence, just like Carlisle had said, just being, enjoying the fact that we didn't have to share our love psychically to know it was there, just the stroke of a hand, the slight tighten of arms, the gentle whisper of our lips in a small kiss. Those things were just as good for me.

Half my mind was on Edward all night though, as I constantly fretted about him, where he was, what he was doing, desperately hoping that we would see him soon. But he didn't return all night. That was never a good sign. My stomach was in knots all night.


	8. Losing Control

It turned out that during the night Edward had run to Seattle. We hardly saw him when he came in the house to change for school, and he never spoke to us. Alice explained it to us when we came downstairs in the early glow of the morning, telling us what she had seen.

"He ran to Seattle, and spent a few hours running the boarder of the city, before turning home," she had said worriedly. "He will go again tonight."

And she was right. It seemed to us that it was a growing habit, as every day after returning home, he would park the car, maybe share a greeting with Carlisle if he were home, and then run to Seattle.

"Carlisle, things can't go on like this," Jasper said quietly one evening, about two weeks after Edward had first gone to Seattle. Emmett and Rosalie were sat on the sofa together, hands entwined and having one of their moments. It was rather sweet. Alice and Jasper were standing together in the corner, Alice's head and hands resting on his chest, his cheek pressed on the top of her head and arms wrapped around her tiny frame.

"I know," he sighed. He was sat at the bottom of the stairs, while I stood beside the wall of glass and stared out over the garden. Over the past week, things had changed. Alice had more mood swings, which quietened Jasper even more than usual. The pair of them were silent almost all of the time, and never left each others side. Emmett and Rosalie had had more arguments, almost two every day, which then led to loud, energetic sex, which seemed to shake the whole house. Carlisle had hardly looked at me in days, and we had barely spoken. I had no idea why, and it hurt me so. I didn't know what to make of it.

"So what do you suggest?" Emmett asked from the sofa, pulling away from Rosalie's gaze. "Is there really anything we can do?"

"We could try talking to him," I said quietly, not meeting anyone's gaze and instead focusing on the floor.

I heard Alice sigh. "I thought that too. But I saw, that as per, he would not listen. So there really is no point."

"Why do we even bother?" Carlisle sighed. He sounded annoyed. I glanced up at him, but he turned away from us all.

"Carlisle, are you ok?" Jasper asked nervously.

"Oh yes, perfect," he snorted. What was wrong with him? He was usually so composed, calm and understanding! What was happening?

"Carlisle?" Rosalie asked worriedly. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" he repeated, swinging round suddenly to face us all. "What's wrong? Well, let's see, shall we? To start with, I am a vampire, which, as pointed out by my dear son, means my soul has been lost. Secondly, I crave blood, thirst rules our lives! And then there is the fact that I can hardly do my job without half a dozen female nurses and doctors hanging round me, watching my every move and oggling, not to mention that if nature had it its own way I would be sucking the blood of every patient that came under my care! And to top it off, one of my sons is rejecting us all, ignoring his family and turning his back on me, as I try my hardest to help, but he would prefer to suffer, make this harder for everyone!" he shouted. His face was angry, glaring at each and every one of us in turn. We all sat in shock for a moment. None of us had ever heard Carlisle like this, never had he even come close to what he was at that moment. He looked like the vampire he truly was, and it scared me.

"Carlisle?" I asked timidly.

"What?" he snarled, glaring at me. That look, that tone, it brought back terrifying memories to me, and suddenly I panicked. Terrified, I turned and ran flat out, past my children, out of the house and across the lawns and into the forest. I didn't hesitate when I heard calls after me, fear had taken over and nothing was going to stop me.

After ten minutes of running, I stopped. What was I doing? Carlisle would never hurt me, never hurt anyone, least of all his family. You silly woman, get back there! I thought to myself. But something about his expression, the way he had looked at me, dragged memories from my past up to the surface. No matter how hard I tried, the angry picture of his face was all I could see.

After a few hours of sitting, hunched up on the ground, I caught a scent in the wind. Sighing, I leaned back, knowing that this would not be a race I would win.

"Esme?" a voice sweeter than a flute floated through the forest, sounding anxious.

"Yes?" I mumbled reluctantly.

"Oh Esme," Alice sighed in relief when she saw me, and ran to where I was hunched on the floor, hugging me. "Are you ok?"

I looked up. Her large eyes were full of concern as she surveyed me.

"I'm fine," I whispered, hugging me knees tighter. "I'll be home soon."

"You're not fine. Please, just come home. Carlisle's besides himself. He knows that that kind of behaviour is off-limits with you, we all do. It was an accident, he lost control."

"I know. I'm sorry," I barely breathed.

"Come on, let's go home." She stood up and tugged at my elbow, but I didn't budge. I couldn't.

"Ok," she sighed. "I can see we're not going anywhere yet. Do you want to talk about it?"

Her tone was gentle, she genuinly wanted to make sure I was ok.

I took a deep, steadying breath. "It just brings back... bad memories... of him."

"That's ok. But know that Carlisle will never ever want to harm you, and never ever will he. He would do anything for you, you know that, right?"

"That's what he tells me. That's what he's been telling me for the past ninety years. But so did... he. And one betrayal like that is never something you will forget. It's like it is built into the back of your mind, and it is ever present. It just reminds me that things can change." My voice cracked at the end, and Alice pulled me into her arms, stroking my hair rhythmically while I cried tearless cries into her shoulder.

"Are you ready to go home?" she suggested gently after a few minutes. I took in a deep breath, and nodded. She led the way as we ran through the huge forest, the trees blurring past us, until we were back in our garden again I stopped dead in my tracks, and saw Jasper's anxious face at the window of the living room. He saw us, and darted away, no doubt to greet Alice, who continued to the house. I heard the front door open, and Alice was greeted by two men. Alice and Jasper entered the house, while the other man walked slowly across the lawn to meet me.

"Esme, sweetest, I'm not going to hurt you," he said, his hands raised and his voice sounding heartbroken. It pained me to hear him like that, and I wanted so badly to run and comfort him. But my legs would not move. The moon peeked out from behind the clouds, and the light shone on Carlisle's face. He was scared, no doubt about it, but not scared as if something were to harm him. Scared as if he were about to lose something. I felt my heart break a little to see him like this.


	9. Family Games

"Oh Esme," his voice broke and he started towards me. I flinched back unwillingly. It was a stupid thing for me to do, but I couldn't help myself.

"Carlisle..." I whispered, heartbroken. "I'm so sorry." My shoulders hunched up and down, and the tearless sobs began again. My knees buckled out from under me and before I knew what was happening the grass was inches from my face, only my forearms supporting me up from the ground. I heard soft footfalls in front of me, followed by the brown leather shoes that enclosed his feet.

"Esme, sweetest," he whispered, pulling my hair away from my face. I didn't flinch this time. The emotion he put into those two words told me I was not about to be harmed, and I let myself fall into his lap. "Curse Charles Evenson, curse that man to the deepest pit of hell for what he put you through," he said quietly as he stroked my hair. I recoiled at his name. "My darling, I am so, so sorry. I swore to myself, that after hearing what that monster of a husband did to you, that you would never see me angry, never ever. And I let you down, dearest, sweetest Esme, in a way that I never should have. I am so awfully sorry, I must have terrified you. But please, forgive me. I don't know what I should do should you not be able to..."

I steadied myself, and sat up to look at him, my eyes wide as I took in his expression. His eyes were burning with remorse. "What that man did to me when I was human was never and never will be your fault. You know that. And neither is the effect the memory still has on me. No one should have to bottle everything up just because I cannot handle a blurry memory of a sick man, no one should have to hold anything in on my account. We are a family, and everyone needs to say how they feel. You have nothing to apologize for, my darling, nothing at all," I whispered earnestly.

"But Esme, I scared you, I totally terrified you. You left me..." his voice trailed off and he dropped his gaze

"Carlisle, please."

"Please what, my dearest?"

"Please let it go. I'm ok, I promise."

"I can see it in your eyes. You're not ok. Please, let me know how to make it better."

"Just promise me you will never leave me."

"I swear on my life I will never leave you. I swear by the stars in the sky, the waters of the seas, the air in the wind, that I will never abandon you. My heart belongs to you; without you, I am but an empty shell of life."

"That's alright then," I smiled slightly, bringing my head slowly closer to his, and rested my forehead on his. He moved his head slightly, breathing heavily and bringing his fingers so gently across my cheeks.

"Esme, I never intended to hurt you," he breathed, tracing his lips lightly across my face.

"I know," I sighed.

"I love you," he whispered on the side of my face. "I love you," the lobe of my ear, "I love you," the soft spot on my neck, "I love you," the edge of my collar bone.

"I love you too, Carlisle Cullen," I smiled properly and bringing his face up to mine. "With all my heart." My lips met his in a sweet kiss, moving with his perfectly, and I felt the pain he held over me pour out in this shared moment. I pulled away, my eyes wide. His face was sad.

"Oh Carlisle," I sighed, stroking his cheek sadly. "What are we going to do with each other?"

"I really don't know," he smiled. "I guess we're stuck with each other then."

"I'm not complaining," I smiled back, and leaned in to kiss my lover, my husband, my best friend, my soul mate.

"Ew, gross guys!" came a cry from the front door, followed by a "shut up Emmett, you freak!"

I almost chuckled, but was distracted as Carlisle wove his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. I found my fingers weaving through his hair as his lips parted slightly, my body reacting in a new way. I was vaguely aware of footsteps coming across the lawn, but ignored them as Carlisle leaned back onto the wet grass, pulling me on top of him, as his kisses hinted at more to come. His hands ran up and down my body, making me shiver, and all my senses began to cloud over...

"Ok, guys, now I know why you don't like it when me and Rose start stuff downstairs. It is pretty bad," came Emmett disgusted voice from somewhere to my left. I rolled off Carlisle, totally embarrassed and sat up, sorting my shirt back into place.

"Yes, Emmett?" Carlisle asked pleasantly, as if Emmett had disturbed nothing.

"Leave your nasty love life for later, we've got some family bonding to do," he said mock-enthusiastically. "And don't even bother to protest. It was Alice's idea. Enough said really."

I glanced at Carlisle, a little put out at out interruption, and more than a little worried about the 'family bonding'. He glanced back, looking equallyy worried.

"Should I ask...?" Carlisle said.

"I wouldn't," Emmett grimaced.

Curiosity pulled me up from the floor and led me to the house, pulling Carlisle to my side, not willing to let him go for a second. He rubbed my hand with his thumb soothingly, knowing that I was still a little emotional from earlier. When we arrived in the living room, Alice was bent over something next to the television, her body obscuring the object from view.

"Alice, seriously, what is the point?" Rosalie asked from where she was sat with Jasper on the sofa, playing slaps.

"Oww!" Jasper moaned as she caught him off guard, slapping his hand so hard it would have shattered the wrist of a human. "Just leave her be, Rose!"

She made a face at him, and caught his hands again.

"Ok!" Alice bounced up after a moment. "Well, I decided, that seeing as everyone has been down lately about Edward and everything, that we could do with some cheering up! And not to mention nights are never spent together as a family any more, because we all seem to have more entertaining things to do. So I bought a Wii, so we can play as a family!"

"A what?" I asked nervously. It didn't seem particularly appealing.

"It's a games console, Esme," Emmett sighed. "It's Alice's idea of fun."

"You bet it is Emmett!" she laughed. "Now lets get going!"

After half an hour of reading instructions, setting up profiles and re-reading the instructions, we were away with our first game.

"Now Wii Resort is a really good game, it's got loads of differant stuff to do, and you can play four ways!" Alice squealed with delight. I wasn't too impressed as I saw a computerised version of me waddle about the TV screen.

"I bet I'll your sorry ass Jasper," Emmett gawfawed, watching his own Mii wander about the screen. I saw Jasper throw Alice a glance, and she flashed him a grin.

"How much?" Jasper asked casually.

Emmett thought for a moment. "My 1968 baseball bat. And your 1957 baseball."

"You're on," Jasper grinned. Within moments they were both holding the Wii remotes as their Mii's battled in a jet ski race around what looked like a beach. Both their faces were wrapped with concentration. It was quite amusing.

"Aha, I told you I would beat you, little soldier!" Emmett laughed as his Mii zoomed ahead of Jasper.

"Oh is that so?" Jasper laughed triumphantly as he bashed Emmett out of the way and sent him completely off-course.

"Hey! Foul play!" Emmett moaned childishly. "Esme!"

"Hey, don't look at me!" I laughed. "It's a computer game Emmett, he can't cheat!"

"Can so," Emmett muttered while Jasper laughed, clearly taking the lead.

"In your face Emmett!" Jasper shouted triumphantly as his character crossed the line ahead of Emmett's. "Who's the soldier, who's the soldier?" he sang and did his happy-dance, moving his head and shoulders back and forth. We all laughed - aside from Emmett.

"Pay up bro," Jasper said and stuck out his hand for his prize.

"Fine," Emmett grumbled and darted upstairs. Alice winked at Jasper and they smacked fits.

"Oh guys you are mean!" Rosalie laughed. "You do realise I'm going to have to deal with that for the next decade!"

"Sorry Rose, but you married him!" Jasper laughed, as did the rest of us.

"Yeah, I guess." She rolled her eyes as Emmett ran back into the room and stood at the far end, before throwing the bat as hard as he could across the room at Jasper.

"Cheers mate," Jasper said cheerfully as he caught the bat in his hand just in front of his face.

"Be careful Emmett," I sighed. "You nearly hit your brother's face."

"Your point?" he asked blankly.

"Emmett!" Alice cried. "That's my husband you're talking about!"

"I know. Hey, Carlisle, I'll play you!"

"No, really Emmett, I'm ok," he smiled back as his arms around me tightened a little.

"Aww, c'mon, what's the harm? We can make it interesting," he said, a twinkle in his eye.

Carlisle shot a quick look at Alice, who nodded slightly and winked while Emmett set up the game. He sighed and stood up. "Ok Emmett, you're on."

"Great! You win, I behave myself for a month. No snide remarks, no trying to hurt Jasper, or Edward, no rowdy sex. I win, I get your white doctors jacket," he grinned, and shot a look at Rosalie, who gave him a look in return of her own.

"Why do you want... actually, I don't want to know," Carlisle concluded.

It was good fun to watch, they played 100 pin bowling, Emmett was impatient, and moaned about the little people that cheered on the bowling balls as they raced down the alley. The final score came up, followed by a cry of despair from Emmett.

"I can't believe it! I got beaten by a 400 year old doctor! _A 400 year old doctor_!" he exclaimed. "How messed up is _that_?"


	10. Bear Hug

March.

Another month to add to the hundreds upon hundreds I had already lived. This month was different though, from all the other March's I had lived. It was... strange. Edward was becoming more of himself, but spent little time with us. It reminded me of the time he spent away from Carlisle and I, when he went his own way for a few dark years. Because it felt like we were losing him. Again. It hurt, just like before, and what made it worse was that Carlisle submerged himself in his work. He brought home stacks of paperwork every night, and spent all his time locked in that office of his. It had been a week since we had been together.

Carlisle was my rock, the person I turned to when I needed help, and he was always there, to take my hand, to stroke my hair and tell me everything will work out. Since the very beginning it had been like that, all the way back to when I broke my leg at the age of sixteen. He had plastered up my leg, and held my hand in one of his, while the other hand stroked the top of my head. He told me everything would be ok from then on. From the very first time I met him he was strong and wanting to help. But now, not so much. I feared that Edward's near constant absence, and the inevitable occurrences that were likely to crash down on us soon had been too much. I didn't dare ask Jasper what was wrong, what emotions he was picking up from Carlisle, because the others hardly seemed to notice it, and I didn't want to be the one to point out to them that their father was retreating into his shell. But after a week of hardly saying a word, I caved.

"Alice," I asked tentatively across the room. She was sketching Rosalie on the sofa, while Jasper and Emmett were watching a ball game on the widescreen.

"Yes?" she replied, not looking up from her sketch.

"Do you want to go hunt, I know it's been a while since you went?" I said, hoping that she saw that I needed to talk to her. As much as I loved all of my children, Alice and I got on the best, although I loved her no more than the others, but I could always talk to Alice about anything.

Her eyes met mine for a moment, and she nodded. "Ok, I've nearly finished this, and then I'll go. You go get ready, and I'll come find you in a moment."

"Thanks," I smiled gratefully at her, and she smiled back. Oh bless you Alice, I thought to myself as I darted up the stairs. Changing into something more comfortable, I walked carefully down the hall to Carlisle's office and stopped outside the door. Taking in a deep breath, I knocked.

"Come in Esme," he said wearily. That stung. Was he weary with me? I swallowed, and pushed open the door. He was sat at the great oak desk, surrounded by paperwork and looked as weary as he sounded. He smiled when I opened the door, but it did not touch his eyes.

"Alice and I are going hunting," I whispered, staring at the floor. It was more than likely that I was going to start sobbing right there and then, but I managed to keep it under control.

"Ok. Be careful," he replied. I peeked up, and saw that he had returned to his work with a slight frown.

"Always am. I love you," I said quietly as my voice shook slightly.

"Love you too," he said after a beat too long.

"Always," I breathed, and turned on my heel to leave. I hoped so much that he would call me back, tell me he was sorry for the week of estrangement and tell me that everything would be ok. I wanted him to take me in his arms, stroke my hair and kiss my forehead. I wanted him back. But he didn't. He let me go, still writing on his paper as I closed the door quietly.

"Esme?" Alice called from the top floor. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, are you ready?" I called back after composing my silent sobs. My voice was still shaky though.

"Yep, just give me a moment," she called. It sounded like she was straining for something. It didn't really bother me though. I walked slowly down the stairs, and watched my family. Jasper and Emmett both turned to look at me when they heard my footsteps on the stairs, and both of their foreheads creased into frowns. I guess I hadn't tried hard enough to mask myself.

"Esme, are you ok?" Emmett asked and got up to embrace me. I opened my arms to him and soon he had himself wrapped around me in one of his bear hugs. I let myself go a little, allowing the dry sobs to escape from my mouth as Emmett rubbed up and down my back. Jasper hovered behind and rubbed my arm soothingly. I smiled weakly at him, and let Emmett go.

"Thanks, sweetie," I sighed, and touched both of their cheeks.

"So are you gonna tell us what's wrong?" Emmett asked.

"Em, if she doesn't want to say, don't force her," Rosalie said sternly from where she was sat on the floor against the sofa. She looked at me nervously. Things were still slightly tense from the outburst that followed Edward's incident with Bella. It seemed years ago now. MY face crumpled again as I looked at her, and she had her arms around me in a second.

"Oh Esme," she sighed, rubbing my back just as Emmett did. "Is it that bad?"

And in that, I knew she knew what was bothering me. Two of the main men in my life were ignoring me, two of the people I loved more than anything had estranged me. I buried my head in her shoulder and nodded.

"Esme, we all love you so much," Jasper said quietly. "And Edward does too, even though he isn't showing it right now."

Bless Jasper. He knew of half the problem, the fact that my son had abandoned us all, left me again, but did not know that my rock, the man who was always there, now too, left me in just a hurtful way.

"Come here," Emmett said quietly, and I felt two pairs of arms around Rose and myself.

"Esme?" came a worried voice from the stairs, and the next moment a third pair of arms joined in the embrace. I had two sons, and two daughters literally surrounding me with their love, and yet I was selfish enough to ask for more.

"Where's Carlisle?" Emmett asked after a moment. "I'm sure he wouldn't want to miss this gooey moment." He chuckled to himself.

I stiffened, and pulled away. "He has work to do. Let's not disturb your father."

"Esme?" Rose asked as I turned away with Alice to leave. "We love you. And I will use all my power to make things better when you return. All of my power," she emphasised, and she tilted her head slightly to Emmett and Jasper. I understood what she meant, on both accounts. She will get Emmett and Jasper to corner Edward, and make him see sense. And she could handle Carlisle. She could wrap him around her little finger when she wanted, as could Alice. I felt a sudden wave of love for my family wash over me, and Jasper stared at me.

"I love you all, I really do," I said as steadily as I could, and looked each of them in the eye. "You mean the world to me, and I don't know what I would do without you."

With that, I turned on my heel and left with Alice.


	11. Hospital Carpark

"Alice?" I asked as I pushed the deer carcass away from me and wiped the corners of my mouth.

"Are you sure you want to go?" Alice replied quietly. I sighed. Of course she would know what I was planning to do.

"I'll only stay with Tanya for a little while. Just until things settle down again."

"Please. We need you here," she said quietly, a pleading edge to her voice.

"Alice, I can't stay here right now. Not while Edward is galavating off across the state, and not with your father like this..." I trailed off. It hurt badly, even to think of him now. And it hurt just as much to think that I would be leaving my family, even for a short time. But I knew I had to leave, to give him the space he clearly wanted.

I saw Alice's eyes cloud over for a minute, and the smallest flicker of a smile across her face as she returned to reality. "Things will work out," she said defiantly. It was a sudden contrast to her previous expression.

"Do I want to know?" I sighed.

"It will be better if you wait for the full effect," she suggested, and I felt a little better.

"We'd better get going then. You don't want to be late for school," I said with a weak smile, and wrapped my arm around her waist. She returned the favour, and we took our time walking back to the house.

Rosalie and Emmett were upstairs when we got home, while Jasper was waiting for Alice at the bottom of the stairs, one hand on the banister.

"How was your hunt?" he asked in his deep voice as his eyes lingered on Alice's for a moment. The connection that was between them, the relationship they had, was something I had never seen before. It was almost magical, the way they could almost read each others minds, have whole conversations just by looking at each other.

"It was ok, thanks," Alice said lightly and danced to his side. "We came across some deer, and had a couple each."

"You look well fed," he smiled, and traced his fingers under her eyes, reaching down to kiss her gently.

"And Esme?" he asked as he straightened. "Are you ok now?"

"Better, thank you sweetie," I murmured, not meeting his gaze. "I'll be upstairs if anyone needs me, Alice."

I darted past the up the stairs without sparing them a glance and flew into the master bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I looked around at the white purity of the room, and flung myself on the bed. There, I let my dry sobs overcome me once again.

A few hours later, I heard a knock on the door.

"Esme?" Alice asked, peeping round the door. "We're off to school now."

"Ok, have a good day," I mumbled into one of the pillows.

"You will leave before we return, wont you." It wasn't a question, it was a sad statement.

"Yes. I'm sorry, dear. I will be back before you know it." I couldn't bear to look at her with the knowledge that it may be weeks before I saw her again. "Tell the others I'm sorry, and that I love them," I whispered.

I heard the door close behind me, followed by the sound of Edward's Volvo pull out of the garage. I sat up in bed, realizing that if I was going to leave, I would have to pack. Without really noticing what I was packing, I threw clothes into a suitcase, a couple of books and my sketch book. Walking over to my dressing table, my eyes rested on a picture. It was of Carlisle and I, sat on a cloudy beach somewhere, laughing at a forgotten joke in each others' arms. His cheek was pressed against the side of my head and my arms were wrapped softly around his waist. I lifted it up from where it stood, and put it in my suitcase. Looking around the room once more, something else caught my eye. It was one of his scarves. I walked slowly towards where it hung over a chair, and realized that it was the scarf he had worn, that night by the lake, where he had told me for the first time that he was in love with me. My eyes pricked dryly, and I swallowed as I picked it up. Holding it to my nose, I could smell him, and I breathed in deeply. I placed it with the picture, and fasted the zip of the suitcase. Giving the room one last look, I shut the door quietly and flitted down to the garage.

"Is Doctor Cullen available?" I asked the nurse at the front desk of the hospital nervously. I don't know what had possessed me, but I had decided to come and tell my husband that I was leaving, albeit for a short amount of time, in the hope that he would try to stop me. That doesn't seem too likely, I thought sadly.

"I'm sorry, he's in theatre at the moment," the nurse replied, giving me a nervous look. "Can I ask as to who is enquiring?"

"His wife," I said quietly, looking down.

"Esme, is it?" she asked me a little more confidently.

"Yes. How did you know that?" I asked curiously. I had never been to the hospital before, and confused as to how she knew my name.

"Oh, well, Dr Cullen speaks adoringly of you, Mrs Cullen," she smiled.

"I'm glad to hear that," I said in what I hoped to be a flattered voice. But that hardly seemed likely at the moment.

"Can I pass on a message?" she asked helpfully.

"Yes, please. Would you please tell him that I am going to Denali to stay with Tanya and her family, just for the moment," I said slowly, trying not to give anything away to the nurse, who looked like she was one to gossip.

"Denali, Tanya," the nurse repeated as she wrote it down. "Got it." She smiled at me and I thanked her.

"Esme?" I heard a voice from the open doors, just before I caught his scent.

"Carlisle," I sighed. Even dressed in garish green scrubs he still looked like a Greek god. His brow was furrowed as he surveyed me.

"Esme, what are you doing here?" he asked, taking me aside and standing by the wall.

I looked up into his eyes, and found myself momentarily stunned by the soft gold of his eyes. "I just came to tell you that I'm going to stay with Tanya for a while," I stuttered. This was the most we had spoken in a week.

"What?" he asked, alarmed. "Why?"

"Just until things... settle down," I said, looking down again.

"Esme, is something bothering you?" he asked in a concerned voice.

"Me? Not as much as something seems to be bothering you, my dear," I replied sadly, and I turned to walk out of the doors.

"Esme, wait!" Carlisle called after a moment. I stopped outside the hospital doors as he ran out to meet me. "What do you mean?"

"What I mean, Carlisle, is that I can see that Edward leaving us again has taken its toll on you, and I can see that I bother you, being around. You need time to collect yourself. But it hurts too much for me to stay and watch."

"I'm hurting you?" Carlisle asked after a pause.

"It's just... it's just I know that I'm irritating you. I can see it in your eyes, the way you hide up in your office... I just want my husband back," I choked, taking a step back. "It's been a week..."

"Oh, Esme," he sighed. "My Esme." He closed the gap between us and wrapped his arms around me. I stood still, as hard as stone and as cold as ice.

"Carlisle, please, don't pity me," I requested sadly. "The world doesn't revolve around me."

"Esme, sweetest, I am so incredibly sorry," he breathed into my ear, and I shivered. "I was so consumed with my grief for our son, that I forgot. I forgot about taking care of you."

"And that's ok," I insisted, pulling away from him. "That's why I'm going to Denali. I'll come back when your ok again."

"But that wont be possible," he said earnestly, entwining his fingers with mine as drops of rain began falling from the dark clouds above us. "Because you are my cure, you always have been. You always will be." He leaned into kiss me, but I pulled away.

"But you have hardly spoken to me for a week," I whispered.

"Oh Esme. Darling, sweet, caring Esme. I am so, so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I truly am. I never knew what I was doing to you, and I cannot apologize enough," he said earnestly. "Please, forgive me."

"Carlisle..."

"Please," he begged. His eyes were so sad, I couldn't help but fling my arms around his neck.

"Don't apologize. Just love me," I whimpered into his ear as I felt my heart swell with him.

"Esme, I've missed you," he whispered into my ear.

"I've missed you too, Carlisle," I cried quietly.

"I've hurt you so," he said in a strained voice.

"It doesn't matter, so long as it's over now." I pulled away from him and look at my husband again. The rain had begun to pour down, and we were both soaked already. I wiped the rain out of his eyes and ran my fingers through his hair again. He pulled me closer in his arms again, running his hands up and down my sides and brought his face down to meet mine in a mind-blowing kiss. Clutching at his shoulders, I pulled away from him and stared.

"You taste good in the rain," he chuckled quietly as he pulled a strand of hair away from my face.

"So do you," I said, and smiled. "Too good to be legal."

"Is that so?" he asked, and leaned back into kiss me once again. Placing his hands firmly on my waist, he gently traced his tongue along my lower lip, when a wolf-whistle come from behind us.

I pulled away as I suddenly remembered where we were. "Oops," I giggled, as Carlisle waved at the doctor who had interrupted us.

"A week is too long," he sighed, looking down at me once again. "Let's say I take you home and we can get out of our wet clothes?"

"Don't you have work to do?" I asked, although that was the last thing I wanted.

"I can work something out," he winked at me, and kissed me deeply once more.

"See you when you get home," I grumbled as he darted back into the hospital. I heard him chuckle as I walked back to my car. How could such a horrible day turn out so good in one short conversation?

"I love you," I called after him, knowing that he would hear.

"I love you," I heard him reply in such a quick voice I knew no one would hear but me. I wanted to run down the street and sing to the heavens, dance to the sound of the rain on the road. Carlisle loved me, and nothing, not the ticking of time, not the boarders of countries, not even our own son leaving, could ever change that, and it was silly of me to think otherwise. All the whispered words, every gentle touch and sweet kiss, was that not enough to remind me every day of how my husband loved me, and I him? I couldn't help beaming to myself as I drove home.


	12. Bach's Air

"Tanya?" I said quickly into the phone as soon as she picked up. "Slight change of plan. I'm not coming up anymore, sorry I put you through so much hassle!"

"Oh, don't worry about it!" Tanya said happily. "So things worked out between you and Carlisle?"

"How did you...?" I asked slowly.

"Oh Esme," she laughed. "It's fairly obvious! With Carlisle, you can get through anything, but without him, you are lost. It was fairly clear that Edward's behaviour was affecting him in a way that pushed you away, and you needed support. Support that we are more than happy to give you," she added at the end.

I frowned. Tanya sure was good at this. "Ok, well, thanks Tanya, you're the best!"

"I know," she laughed. "Have fun now!" And she hung up. I couldn't help but smile. Tanya really knew how to cheer someone up, no matter how low someone might be, she could always coax at least a small smile out of them.

Totally serenity came over me as I drifted up the stairs and unpacked my hastily filled suitcase. I picked up the scarf, breathing in its scent as I wrapped it loosely around my neck. Smiling, I took the picture of Carlisle and I on the beach, and placed it back where it belonged, for all the room to see. With the serenity that I was truly feeling, I decided to sketch while I waited for Carlisle to return home. I sat against the headboard on the bed, and held the pencil above the paper for a moment, trying to decide what to draw. I looked around the room, and then smiled, as my pencil met paper.

Before too long, I heard the familiar sound of tyres at the top of the drive, and looked up at the clock. Nearly an hour had passed me by, and I had hardly noticed as the memories I shared with Carlisle had flooded my mind happily. I looked down at the drawing in my hands sadly. No drawing would ever do him justice, no pencil, no paintbrush, could reproduce something that knocked the breath out of everyone, that enchanted every woman who saw it, that could bring my deadened heart to life. His face really was something to behold. Setting the notepad down, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and floated slowly down the stairs. I hread the front door open and close, and his scent wafted over me, along with the scent of fresh roses. I smiled as I turned the corner of the stairs and saw him standing in the doorway, a bunch of roses in one hand, a CD in the other.

"Esme," he greeted me happily as a smile illuminated his face. I marvelled for a moment. Looking at him was like looking at the sun, I was blinded.

"Carlisle, you shouldn't have," I smiled as he handed me the flowers.

"It's the least I can do, my dear. It's the least I can do after this," he added seriously.

"No, ok? Just, please stop feeling guilty. I love you, now and always, and that's all that matter," I told him sternly, stepping forwards to wrap my arms around his neck. He looked down guiltily, and I put a finger under his chin. "Please, Carlisle?"

"Ok," he sighed eventually. He looked up at me finally, and allowed me to kiss him.

"Esme?" he asked after a short moment. How he managed it I shall never know.

"Mmm?" I mumbled.

He pulled away from slightly, resting his forehead on mine and gazed into my eyes. "I have one more thing I picked up for you." He held out the CD I had all but forgotten, and I took it curiously. It was blank.

"Carlisle? It's blank," I smiled.

"I know. Go put it in," he encouraged.

"You know where it would be better to go?" I said, a sudden idea coming to me. "Upstairs. Our room has the best acoustics, let alone the highest quality stereo."

"Is that so?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, and took each end of his scarf I was wearing gently in his hands. "If I didn't know any better I would think that your intentions were not entirely musically based."

"Do you object?" I enquired, running my hands up and down his back slowly.

"Not entirely. But I do request that you listen to at least the beginning of the first track," he teased. "If you can resist for that long?"

"I do have adequate control over myself, thank you very much!" I cried indignantly, and slapped his chest.

"I'm glad to hear it," he chuckled. "After you." He indicated for the stairs. I narrowed my eyes at him, but couldn't keep it up. I burst out laughing at his puppy-dog expression. He joined in with my laughter as we made our way up the stairs. Once we were in our room and the door was shut, I walked over slowly and deliberately to the CD player and hit 'play'. The sound of Bach's 'Air' filled the room, and I was suddenly overcome with emotion.

"Our wedding song," I said, choked up. Carlisle came up behind me, and took my hands in his own. Slowly, he turned me until we were facing and started to slowly sway me to the music.

"Our wedding song," Carlisle repeated quietly into my ear, nibbling the top of it gently.

"Oh Carlisle," I sighed happily, nuzzling my head into his neck and placing a tender kiss just below his ear. "Thank you."

"Anything for you, my darling." Turning his head down to me, his lips met mine gently, moving them slowly with mine...


	13. Piano Keys

It was a few weeks later, when a change started to happen. I was upstairs one afternoon, and heard the others come in from school. Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett came in together, without Alice or Edward. I decided it would be easier not to ask, arguments between them were more common.

"Right. Jasper, you, me, chess, now," I heard Emmett demand.

"Your funeral," Jasper scoffed.

"Wanna bet?"

"You're on!"

I didn't dare listen to what they were betting with now. It worried me each time. I got back to my drawings to distract me. I had found an old run-down cottage in the forest, and Carlisle was willing to buy it, if I decided that I wanted a new project, so I had started some drawing of how I was going to do it. The blue prints were looking very good, and I started humming to myself as I heard Edward's Volvo at the top of the drive. They came in, and there was no sound of an argument brewing, so I found myself relaxing, and mused over the drawings again. The sound of piano scales floated up the stairs as I shuffled through my papers, and I paused.

_Edward's playing again!_ I thought happily to myself. A new tune wound its way through the house, and I sighed contentedly. _A new song. It's been so long. What a lovely tune._

It wove up and down the octaves, slowly building to a forte, growing sweeter and higher as it went, when it suddenly stopped, and Edward laughed. Who had thought what? I flitted down the stairs, and saw Rosalie glaring at Edward. I stopped between them, my eyes darting between the two of them.

"Don't stop, Edward," I encouraged, breaking the strained silence. He smiled at me, and turned back to the keys. Rosalie sighed angrily, and stalked out of the room as Edward stifled another laugh.

"What's wrong, Rose?" Emmett called after her ignored him as she continued to the garage, slamming the door as she went.

"What's that about?" Emmett asked Edward, who still had the shadow of a smile on his face.

"I don't have the faintest idea," he lied, still trying not to laugh. Emmett grumbled, and lolloped back to the huge chess game he was playing with Jasper. They had laid eight chess boards together to play. I sighed. Boys will be boys.

"Keep playing," I said with a smile. It was so wonderful to hear him play, he was the best pianist I had ever heard, he could easily make it to the top. His music was something else. He did as I asked and turned back to the keys as I stood behind him and rested my hands on his shoulders. The song was enchanting, sweeping us all up in the magic of it, as he played around with a bridge.

"It's charming. Does it have a name?" I asked.

"Not yet," he murmured.

"Is there a story to it?" I asked, smiling. I hoped there was, but I didn't dare think it.

"It's... a lullaby, I suppose."

"A lullaby," I repeated. That was interesting. Not that lullabies were useless to vampires, they were totally beautiful and I loved them, but they came from trying to help humans to sleep. Humans...

The tune then seemed to flow away from Edward as it twisted and turned, minor to major, soft to loud, as Alice came to sit by Edward on the stool. She watched his fingers caress the keys as she sang out a descant harmony two octaves above the melody, and Edward murmured his approval. He added it in on the piano, nodding as he went. It changed mood, Alice catching on and working her harmony through the new melody.

"Yes," he sighed. "Perfect."

I squeezed his shoulder happily. The tune came to an end, and he pressed down onto the last chord, bending his head over the keys.

_It's going to be fine Edward,_ I thought as I stroked his bronze hair. _This is going to work out for the best. You deserve happiness, my son. Fate owes you that._

"Thanks," he whispered wistfully. He didn't believe me, I could tell.

_Love doesn't always come in convenient packages_.

He laughed without humour. Why did he always doubt himself so? When would he ever seem himself clearly?

_You, out of everyone on this planet, are perhaps best equipped to deal with such a difficult quandary. You are the best and brightest of us all._

He sighed.

Despite his best efforts, I was still so happy that my son had been touched by love. I feared that it would be centuries before he found someone, like Carlisle.

_She'll have you love you back_ I suddenly thought. _If she's a bright girl_. I smiled. _But I can't imagine anyone being so slow they wouldn't see the catch you are._

"Stop it, Mom, you're making me blush," he teased. And thankfully, it looked like my words had touched him for once. He looked slightly happier. Alice laughed, and played the top hand of 'Heart and Soul'. Edward grinned at her, and completed the painfully simple harmony, before sweeping into her favourite, 'Chopsticks'.

She giggled, and then sighed. "So I wish you'd tell me what you were laughing at Rose about," she said. "But I can see that you wont." And she put on her most woeful expression. It was rather comical.

"Nope."

She flicked his ear playfully, dropping the woeful act in a second.

"Be nice, Alice," I told her, smiling. "Edward is being a gentleman."

"But I want to know," she said, with a whining edge to her voice.

Edward chuckled. "Here, Esme," he then said calmly, and his fingers began whispering over the keys into my favourite song. He had never named it, but told us that it was his tribute to the love he had seen between Carlisle and I. I loved it, it was perfect.

"Thank you dear," I sighed happily, squeezing his shoulders.

"Oh," said Alice suddenly after a moment of pause. "Jasper, guess what?"

Edward's hands froze on the keys.

"What?" Jasper asked, looking up from his chess game.

"Peter and Charlotte are coming to visit next week! They're going to be in the neighbourhood, isn't that nice?" Alice was excited already. Her and Charlotte had always got on very well, as they both had a great interest in fashion.

"What's wrong Edward?" I asked. I could feel the sudden tension in his shoulders.

"Peter and Charlotte are coming to _Forks?_" he hissed at Alice.

"Calm down Edward," she rolled her eyes at him. "It's not their first visit."

I heard his teeth clench together, and Alice frowned.

"They never hunt here. You know that."

Peter and Charlotte were always very careful when they visited us, never hunting within a fifty mile radius of where we stayed, something we could only thank them for.

"When?" Edward demanded. Alice pursed her lips unhappily, and told him through her thoughts. He nodded grimly. "No," he said to her, in seeming agreement. "You ready, Emmett?" he asked, turning to his brother.

"I thought we were leaving in the morning?"

"We're coming back by midnight Sunday. I guess it's up to you when you want to leave."

"Okay, fine. Let me say goodbye to Rose first."

"Sure. I suppose I have," he added at the end, a response to an unspoken thought.

"Play the new song for me, one more time," I asked. It was a beautiful piece.

"If you'd like that." He paused briefly, and then nodded to himself. I exchanged a worried glance with Alice, but we didn't ask.


	14. Songbird

I stared out of the long window in the living room, out over the dark garden and into the forest beyond. Once there was a time when wolves ran in those woods. That time was long gone though, nothing seemed to stir in the undergrowth, besides a badger or two. In the distance I heard the hooting of a lone owl, and I suddenly felt very lonely.

It was Saturday evening, and the house, for once, was quiet. Alice had dragged Jasper to Seattle for late-night shopping, and Edward and Emmett were hunting up near Mount Rainier, while Rosalie was tapping away on one of the computers. Carlisle was still working, but was getting off soon.

"Really, again Rose?" I asked as the sound of Ravel's Bolero pounded through the surround-sound from the computer.

"I'll have you know, Esme-"

"Torvill and Dean are the greatest ever, yes I know, Rose," I chuckled. Rose had such a passion for figure skating, her favourites being the British dance couple Torvill and Dean. she had been thrilled when I went with her to Torino in 2006 to see Sasha Cohen, another of her favourites. She didn't like to mention it around the others though, and even though Edward and Alice boh clearly knew, they were good enough never to mention it.

"Don't even get me started on Lillehammer, Esme," she said stubbornly.

"No, I wont sweetie. I know."

She stuck her tongue out at me, making me giggle. Not wanting to disturb Rosalie while she watched the screen intently, and not wanting to be around when she began her "not an edge out of place!" gushing that always followed, I crossed the room and went upstairs. Without really thinking about it, I went into the music room. This was where all the instruments were kept, besides Edward's grand. There were acoustic and electric guitars, favourites of Emmett, cornets (Alice had insisted on cornets, telling us with no hesitation that the trumpet was far too harsh, while the cornet had a much sweeter tone), trombones, soprano, alto and tenor saxophones, cellos, violas, violins, oboes, recorders, and flutes, not to mention the collection of African drums, and the two drum kits. There was also an upright piano, but that was mostly used for accompanying the other instruments, rather than playing for the benefit of a soloist.

"Hello, old friend," I smiled, and walked over to my silver flute. It had been so long since I had played at all, even though I used to love playing my flute and guitars. Without hesitation I picked up the silver flute that had my name engraved on the side of it, and blew across the mouthpiece. A little out of tune, after the few years of neglect, but after a few scales it played like a charm again. My fingers flowed across the keys into an easy, familiar tune. Ever since our wedding, Bach's 'Air' was always a favourite of mine. I smiled and set it down again.

It had been so long since I had been in there, played or sung properly at all, and I decided to treat Rosalie. Smiling, I picked up on of the acoustic guitairs, and began my own acoustic version of Frank Sinatra's 'Let's Face The Music'.

"There may be troubles, ahead,

But while there's moonlight and music

And love, and romance," I sang happily to the chords.

"Let's face the music, and dance," I heard Rosalie's reply, followed by her tinkling laughter. I joined in happily, as the sounds of Carlisle car turning into the drive reached my ears. Without setting the guitar down, without even thinking about it, my fingers strummed the strings in a new pattern.

"For you, there'll be no cryin',

For you, the sun will be shining,

'Cos I feel that when I'm with you,

It's alright, I know it's alright,

And the songbirds keeping singing like they,

Know the score,

And I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before."

I heard footsteps behind me as I strummed into the instrumental break, and smiled.

"To you, I would give the world," came a melodic voice from behind me, singing perfectly in tune with me. "To you, I would never be cold."

"Mm, hello, honey," Carlisle murmured into my hair as he hugged me gently from behind.

"Do you mind, I was in the middle of a masterpiece there," I laughed, setting the guitar down.

"I'm awfully sorry, Mrs Cullen," he said woefully as he rested him chin on my shoulder.

"You will be," I joked.

"Is that a threat?"

"No. It's a promise," and stepped away from him, giving him a wink.

"I do love you Esme," he sighed happily.

"And I love you," I said, stepping back into his arms.

"'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer's lease hath all too short a date: Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines... When in eternal lines to time thou growest: So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this and this gives life to thee."

"Shakespeare," I smiled.

"His eighteenth sonnet."

"I know. It was read at our wedding."

"I know." He leaned in to kiss me as I wrapped my arms around his neck. We hardly seemed to have moments like these any more, and I savoured each second.

"Esme!" Rosalie whined up the stairs. We ignored her. "Esme!" she whined even louder. We ignored her again. This was our moment, and no one was going to spoil it.

"ESME!" she yelled, and began storming up the stairs.

"What?" I called back, exasperated, not to mention slightly annoyed.

"The computer broke!" she whined

"And what do you want me to do about it?"

"I don't know! but I need it on again!"

"Use another one!" I said angrily. She knew Carlisle and I hardly seemed to have any time together.

"Oh. Oh yeah." She stomped down the stairs again, and the whir of one of the computers started.

"Teenagers," Carlisle rolled his eyes.

"No, just Rosalie," I corrected him.

"I heard that," she growled from downstairs. We chuckled.

"So Dr Cullen," I said with a smile. "How are you today?"

"Well, I was pretty low, until I heard you singing. You know, you have the sweetest voice."

"Well, your's isn't too bad either," I giggled.

"Well, I have had over three hundred years to perfect it," he winked at me.

"Old man," I teased.

"Old?" he repeated, mock-offended.

"Just a tad."

"Could an old man, do this?" he asked, and he swept me into his arms, and darted into our suite.

"Maybe not," I replied breathlessly as he laid me gently on the bed.

"I didn't think so," he smiled down at me.


	15. Rainer Field

Peter and Charoltte arrived early on the Monday morning, just like Alice had told us, and I was surprised that Edward made only a brief appearance. Alice told us later in the day that he was following Bella Swan around, but staying to the shadows, as the sun was shining brilliantly. As odd as it sounded, none of us judged him for it. We all knew how hard it was to be away from the object of our affections, and that was something none of us were going to begrudge him. We took our guests out on a hunting trip while they were with us, but they were not impressed.

"How can you prefer the taste?" Peter laughed when we had finished the elk herd we had taken down. "It's positively ghastly!"

"It's not for the taste," Jasper reminded him. "Although, the lions put up a brilliant fight. Much better than humans," he joked.

"Wow, that's hilarious Jasper," Rosalie said sarcastically as Peter and Charlotte chuckled. The rest of us glared at him. It certainly wasn't the most tasteful joke, and I hoped he picked up on our moods. He glanced up at Alice who glared at him. He didn't say another word as we made our way back up to the house.

"It's been lovely to see you two," I said as they gathered their small bags together, preparing to leave. It was Wednesday, another sunny day, and Edward, yet again, was nowhere to be seen. "I hope you visit again soon." We all embraced them, and waved them off down the drive in their car.

"That was nice to see them again," Jasper smiled. "I miss them."

"They seem nice enough," Rosalie sniffed. She hadn't met them before, last few times they had come Rosalie and Emmett had been on another one of their honeymoons. This, of course, was no coincidence. It was one thing for us to have to put up with their rowdy lovemaking, but asking our guests to put up with it was one step to far. This time Rosalie and Emmett were happy to go somewhere into the woods, rather than scare our guests away.

"I like them," Emmett said enthusiastically. "Shame they didn't want to play football though. Hey!" he said suddenly, his eyes sparkling. "Let's go now! Rainer field would be perfect right now!"

I glanced around my family. They all looked enthusiastic about the prospect of a game, even Carlisle was grinning.

"I don't have work, why not?" he said happily.

Half an hour later, we were stood in the middle of the double-sized football field, arguing about the teams.

"No, you guys went in a team last time," Alice said patiently, pointing at Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle. "And you thrashed us."

"Well, we were against you ladies," Emmett guffawed, looking pointedly at Jasper.

"Who was it that pinned you fifteen times in a row?" Jasper asked with a raised eyebrow.

Emmett scowled. "That's not fair. I had a cold that day."

"Uh hu. Sure. Whatever gets you through the day, Em."

"Guys, c'mon now," I chuckled. "What about Carlisle, Rose and Jaz, and then Alice, Em and me?"

"Excellent," Emmett grinned. "Mate against mate. Hey Jaz, think you'll score?"

"Ask Alice. She's the psychic of the family," he smiled devilishly.

"Get anything like that into your head, mister, and I'll make sure you'll never score again. In both ways," Alice said dangerously. Clearly Jasper was wanting to try something more... caveman like. I shuddered.

"Anyway," Carlisle cleared his throat. "As fabulous as this conversation about your sex lives is, don't you think we should be getting underway with the game?"

"Anything you say, pops," Emmett laughed, and took his position on my left, Alice taking hers on his left.

"Flip a coin?" Rosalie asked, holding up a dime.

"We win," Alice grinned from her position.

Emmett looked at me pointedly, and I eyed the ball. Darting forwards, I started the game...

"Yes!" Jasper yelled triumphantly. "In your face, loser! You suck! Ahaha! We win, la la la la laaaaaaaaa!"

"Dude, it was one game," Emmett said grumpily as Jasper danced happily around him.

"Bro, that's all I need," Jasper laughed delightedly. He was like a little child at Christmas. It was quite sweet, really.

"Jasper. You are so weird," Alice giggled, giving her husband a mix of a wary and an amused look.

"But you love me anyway!" he boomed, jumping over to her side.

"For now."

"Well done, sweetie," Carlisle said quietly to me as the others continued with their banter. "You played beautifully." He moved a stray piece of hair from my face and gently kissed my forehead.

"I do try," I smiled, and resisted the strong urge to jump into his arms. Seeing him let loose like that did not help my self control one little bit.

"Do you know how much self-restraint it is taking not to just claim you here and now?" Carlisle whispered in my ear, and I smirked.

"Carlisle. That is like, gross," Rosalie scoffed, turning to us. The others all stared at us with disgusted expressions.

"You'd better not do that," Emmett surveyed us in horror. "It was bad enough seeing Jasper and Alice at it, let alone seeing the seemingly only sane people in my life going at it! Goodness knows what damage it could do to me!" He clutched at his heart.

"You overdid it," Rosalie told Emmett.

"You did, she's right," Jasper agreed.

"He always does," Alice sighed.

"Again?" Emmett asked disappointedly.

"You know it." Jasper looked smug.

"Emmett. You need help," Alice said matter-of-factly.

"I live with you. What do you expect?"

"C'mon, be nice Emmett, Alice is only speaking the truth," Carlisle said gently, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

"I resent that. Old man." Emmett glared at Carlisle.

"C'mon, Em, I'll take your mind off you losing," Rosalie said breezily, taking his hand.

"Alright then babes," Emmett said, suddenly very eager. "Told you I'd score," he grinned at Jasper.

"No you didn't. I told you I would," Jasper said, exasperated. "Seriously, you're a vampire for crying out loud! You don't forget things!"

"Well clearly I do," Emmett stuck his tongue out at his brother as Rose practically dragged him away.


End file.
